Getting Started in Marital Therapy: Making the Leap

It might seem scary to jump off a cliff...but with the right parachute, marital therapy and marriage training will help you land safely into the basecamp from which we'll launch your journey to a higher marriage.

​Preparing to Begin Marital Therapy or Training:

These ideas form a core basis of my work with couples, but they may not always be the most important thing to read first all the time for every couple.

My approach is broader and deeper than just this one approach, but I want you to get a flavor for some new ideas to get you started:

Write:

Please spend some time pondering and writing in a journal what your relationship will look like when you accomplish the goals. Here are some questions to journal and think about:

What will you be thinking, feeling, and doing differently? What will you see them thinking, feeling, and doing differently?

How will that affect your larger life in general? Be sure to spend some time writing about this.

What type of relationship do you want to create?

How do you want to be as a partner?

What do you want to learn about yourselves or about the relationship?

What do you want to stop doing?

What do you want to start doing instead?

(the last 5 questions are from www.couplesinstitute.com).

Read:

1. The Heart of Marriage Connection:

Intro to Emotionally-focused Couples Therapy

Sue Johnson on Emotionally-focused Therapy

2. The Tactics of Marriage Connection:

Gottman 2017 Article

Birch Summary of Gottman Article

4. Work on your emotions:

Gottman Institute on Self-soothing

Watch:

If you can please forgive and tolerate this 2nd ever (and amateur!) video I made about my work, you can watch this for an introduction to the larger framework that guides my work with you:

- Here is a lengthy. unedited, unprofessionally produced video of me articulately but (perhaps!) a bit boringly describing why we all need more marital fitness activities that don't rely on traditional therapy or education alone (forgive the blooper at the end of Part 1...keeping it real...silly software interrupted my train of thought!): And...you gotta love that Covid Hairdo!

Part 1:

Part 2: